Unwillingly Yours (Warning: Love Moderately) Read online

  His words worked like a bucket of cold water thrown at her.

  Oh God, oh God, oh God. What had she done?

  “What’s it going to be this time, Jaike?”

  The skies answered him with a drizzle, the raindrops falling harder and faster that they were completely drenched in seconds. But the cold didn’t penetrate her body, and Jaike didn’t even think of pulling away when Derek grabbed her hand. She was gutted by Derek’s words, so conflicted and torn Jaike didn’t even know how or where to start fixing what was wrong between them.

  “Let’s make a run for it!” he shouted over the rain. Derek didn’t hesitate with the twists and turns as they ran, stopping only when they came upon an empty waiting shed.

  Jaike sat on the bench, teeth chattering but not because of the rain. She was frozen inside with terror. She and Derek had kissed. Just the memory of it frightened her, and she didn’t even know how to tell Angelo about it.

  “Cold?” Derek asked.

  She shook her head. Her tears had dried but the pain in her heart hadn’t receded.

  An entire minute passed before he spoke again. “What now, Jaike?”

  The icy fingers of terror clawed at her, and Jaike hugged herself tightly. “Nothing,” she whispered.

  Derek inhaled sharply.

  Jaike felt him turning to her, but she kept her gaze glued to the front and away from him. It was the only way she could survive this.

  “Why can’t you choose me, Jaike? Why won’t you stop running away?” He sounded shattered, and the lies she was had planned to spout died on her throat.

  Jaike whispered, “Too scared.”

  Derek stilled. “Of me?”

  She shook her head. “Of what you make me feel…it’s not what I want.”

  His voice turned grim. “It may not be what you want but it’s what you need. I’m the one you fucking need, Jaike.”

  She bent her head down so he wouldn’t see how hard she was trying not to cry again. “I’m with Angelo now. I’ll always be with Angelo.”

  Through the haze of her tears, she saw Derek’s fists clench at her words. “You will be with me one day. It will happen and you won’t be able to stop it. You’re mine. Always been. Always will be.”

  “Derek…” He frightened her when he was like this, but what frightened her more was how every cell of her being cried out for him at his words.

  He stood up and she could feel him looking down on her. “It’s just a matter of time.”

  She quickly covered her mouth to keep a sob from rushing out when she felt him press his lips to her forehead. “Call Valencia now and ask him to pick you up.”

  Derek walked away, and she pressed her hands harder to her mouth, struggling for control. It took her a while to regain her composure, and only then did she call Angelo. When he arrived, she couldn’t stop herself from looking around, hoping and not hoping for a glimpse of Derek at the same time.

  There was none, but she knew he was there, could feel his gaze like it was a chain around her body that she wanted to be locked with forever.

  Derek’s soft, worried voice penetrated her mind, drawing Jaike out of the past. “What is it?”

  Her lips still tingled at the memory of his kiss, especially with the way Derek was looking at her now. Only now did she realize how much control he had exerted over himself in all the years they had known each other. But now, Derek wasn’t doing anything to hide how much he wanted her, how much he needed her to submit to him.

  Knees buckling, she clutched the back of the sofa to steady herself. She gestured to her surroundings, hoping it would stop Derek from gazing at her with such naked hunger. “M-make yourself at home.”

  Derek wanted to, he planned to, but first he had to ask a question that had been burning inside him the moment he stepped into her suite. It was beautifully and neatly kept, furnished cozily and with feminine touches all over. He couldn’t find any sign that the prick had lived with her but even so – he had to ask.

  “Did you let Valencia fuck you?” When she blinked at him, he gritted out, “Answer me!”

  Jaike whispered, “No.”

  The relief he felt at her words was excruciating.

  “W-would you leave me if I had let him touch me?”

  “No.” He didn’t have to think about it. “But if he had touched you, it would mean that he mattered to you---”

  Jaike couldn’t let that pass. She just wasn’t built that way. “He did. Angelo mattered to me,” she choked out. Even now, with Derek’s presence clouding her judgment, she still couldn’t make herself forget the pain of seeing Angelo with another girl.

  Derek smiled grimly. “Maybe he did, but not in the way he should. Not in the way I matter to you.”

  He strode forward then, and she forgot whatever she wanted to say. The nearer he was, the tenser she became, and she was stiff as a board when he finally stopped, close enough that their lips would touch if she so much as breathed.

  You’re the classic case of a sub. Marcy’s words echoed in her mind.

  And Derek, oh God, Derek wanted to be her Dom.

  They were graduating in months. Derek was poised to take over his family’s business while she had her future all mapped out, her admission to her dream law school a certainty. They shouldn’t be thinking about this, but oh God, her body craved his authority like it was an addiction it had from the very first day.

  Everything felt so twisted, but it felt oh so right, too, and the knowledge fucked with her mind.

  Their gazes met again, and this time Jaike’s courage totally deserted her. She looked away, unable to bear the possessive heat in his gaze. Taking a step back, she asked, “Do you want anything to drink?”

  “No.”

  She blurted out, “I do.”

  Dom. Sub. The words overlapped each other in her mind, teasing and seducing her.

  She walked to the refrigerator and took out a can of beer, one of the dozen she had made sure to stock her fridge with for Angelo. The memory made her hand shake as she pulled the tab and drunk it in one gulp.

  Derek scowled when Jaike started choking. Walking to her, he took the empty can away and threw it to the trash. “No more.”

  She decided not to tell Derek that it didn’t matter if she only had one can of beer. It was more than enough, her tolerance level for alcohol so low that in a matter of minutes she would be completely out of her mind.

  The tenderness with which he brushed her hair away from her face brought fresh tears to her eyes. It reminded her of the last time Angelo had touched her, just as it reminded her of all the times she had run away from Derek.

  Derek was still frowning, concern etched on his face as he asked, “Do you want me to call a doctor?”

  She would have laughed if she hadn’t known he was serious. “I’m fine.” Jaike hated the heavy tension in the air, making it hard for her to breathe. She looked up at Derek with a determinedly bright smile. “I bet you never imagined the two of us spending time in my place without sniping at each other, right?”

  His lips quirked. “You mean without you sniping at me, right?”

  She flushed at the truth of his words. “Sorry for being a bitch to you in the past.”

  Derek waved his hand languidly. “No need to apologize. I liked it.”

  Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

  “It meant no other guy would have an easy time hitting on you.”

  That was a good point, but only if it was reasonable to assume that so many guys wanted her she had to beat them off with a stick. And it wasn’t reasonable, wasn’t even possible.

  Not knowing what to say so that Derek would understand how misg
uided he was about her, Jaike awkwardly gestured to the sofa. “Please have a seat.”

  His lips formed a smile. “You’re sounding like a nun again.”

  She glanced at him in exasperation as she took the smaller couch across the sofa. “I just said ‘please’ and that makes me---” Jaike broke off when Derek sat next to her instead, the limited space forcing his thighs to brush against hers.

  “Enough with the small talk, baby.”

  She raised startled eyes to him.

  “You can talk to me about Valencia.”

  A strangled sob came out at the words she never expected to hear him say.

  “Don’t cry,” Derek said harshly as he pulled her into his arms.

  Jaike didn’t even bother struggling. “He didn’t love me,” she whispered dully. “Why did he go out with me for fifteen months if he hadn’t loved me at all?”

  “He was a fucking asshole.” It was the most diplomatic answer Derek could think of.

  The effects of her one can of beer were beginning to set in, tempting her to say words that would only cause pain to both of them. Angelo had been good to her, too good, which was probably why the way he had so coldly dumped her hurt too much.

  “Did you love him?”

  Had she loved Angelo?

  She felt Derek flinch when she pulled away from him, and she hated herself for it. Now was the time to make a clean break, and Jaike knew it was the only chance she would have to save herself from what fate had in store for her all along.

  Derek’s gorgeous face was taut as he waited for her answer.

  “Yes. I loved him. I love him.”

  Derek tried not to react even though the words were like a fucking blow to his chest.

  Jaike swallowed. “But I didn’t love him the way he deserved to be loved.” The flare of surprise in Derek’s eyes was a lovely sight, but the faintest glimmer of hope that followed was even more beautiful.

  Derek wanted to haul her back into his arms when he realized what she was saying. Finally. The word was all he could goddamn think of. He wanted to shout, wanted the whole fucking world to know that he finally had the girl who had been born for him. But he didn’t do any of those because it just wasn’t the right time yet.

  “Come here.” His voice was both a command and a caress, and Jaike’s body instinctively responded to it. Her tears slowly dried out, her body molding softly to his.

  Derek tipped her face up once more, and this time it felt entirely natural to raise her lips as he lowered his head.

  The first touch of his lips was gentle, the very opposite of their first kiss. His lips moved softly against hers, licking and nipping tenderly. His tongue slipped between her lips, exerting a pressure that Jaike welcomed because it took the decision entirely out of her hands.

  Slowly, she let his tongue in, and Jaike wanted to cry at just how beautiful his kiss felt. His lips felt and tasted even better than she could remember, and his passion as scorching and raw as it was when they had first kissed.

  A hard arm curled around her waist, pulling her closer until every inch of their bodies touched. His other hand gripped her hair, pushing her head forward so his tongue could move further into her mouth. And then his hands were drifting lower, caressing her back before curving around her buttocks.

  Derek’s kiss continued to mesmerize her. When he shifted her in his arms, leaning back against the sides so she could lie on top of him, her eyelids fell shut. Mind already made hazy by alcohol, her heart made numb by pain, her body was completely free to take over, and Jaike gladly surrendered to its urges.

  She rubbed herself against him like a kiss, loving how blissful it felt to give in to the desire she had always tried to hide, to simply forget and lose herself in Derek’s touch.

  Sensing her surrender, Derek’s arms tightened around her, locking her in an embrace Jaike couldn’t get enough of. His kiss became aggressive and rough, and she loved it like that even more.

  She didn’t open her eyes when she felt him lifting her in his arms.

  “Bedroom?” His voice was rough with passion.

  “Second door,” she croaked out. The words had barely left her mouth before Derek’s lips were on hers again, his tongue reclaiming what it had recently possessed.

  Jaike couldn’t suppress the shiver that slithered through her body as she felt Derek lowering her onto her bed. Even so, she couldn’t help releasing a moan of protest when his lips left hers, his body lifting off from her as well.

  When she opened her eyes, she saw Derek standing at the foot of the bed, breathing hard, his hair exquisitely mussed, his face flushed with desire. His eyes burned with naked need – for her.

  “Are you sure about this, Jaike?” His rock-hard dick strained in protest at the fact that he asked the question. His body told him not to give Jaike a chance to walk away, not when his dick dying to enter her. But he resisted the selfish urges. He wanted more from Jaike, and for that he had to do everything right. Perfect even.

  Jaike didn’t want to think, and she hated that he was forcing her to do so. All she wanted was to enjoy his touch. She tried pulling him back to her but he resisted.

  “Do I have to rape you?” she muttered, completely annoyed. What else did he want? Her signature on a contract that deeded her virginity to him?

  “No, a contract won’t be necessary.” It was only when Derek answered that she realized she had said the words out loud. Derek was grinning, but she was glad to see the thread of pain in it. That meant he was suffering, too.

  He caressed her face with his knuckles again. “I need to know you are sure about this. About us. There’s no turning back after this.”

  “Yes!” She tugged him to her again, but still he resisted. “What now?” she all but demanded, her body writhing in desire for him, aching for his touch all over.

  Derek gripped her chin. “Listen to me, Jaike. I’m not like other men. If you decide to take me, it will be on my terms.”

  He meant he wanted to be her Dom, but they both knew it was too early to say those words out loud. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind from the cobwebs of passion and liquor. “W-what terms?”

  “If I take you, you will be mine, completely mine. I’ll never let you go after this.”

  She opened her mouth to speak, but he shook his head. “You’ll have to do whatever I tell you to do when we’re fucking.”

  Jaike scowled up at him. Why did he keep saying the word ‘fuck’? Couldn’t he do it instead?

  Derek nearly growled in frustration, finally realizing that Jaike was past being tipsy and halfway to being completely drunk. He shook her hard. “Jaike, listen---”

  “I’m listening!” she snapped. “And you’re saying so many things when all you should care about is getting me naked.” Jaike gasped right after the words left her mouth, shock and embarrassment sobering her up.

  Derek flashed a wicked smile that had her toes curling and some other more sensitive parts of her body responding. “We’ll get to that, baby. Soon. You should know by now how much I fucking want you. If we’re going to do this, I think I’ll have to punish you for all the years that you made me burn alone, made me goddamn masturbate when it could have been your hands, your mouth on my dick.”

  For a moment, all she could do was look at him, unable to believe how turned on she was at his dirty talk.

  Derek used one finger to trace her lips, and she trembled at the touch. It was such a simple touch, but it was incredibly sensual and intimate, like a different kind of kiss. The heated promise in his eyes was seductive, fanning the fire of passion in her body, making her ache between her legs. She had never felt like this with Angelo. Only Derek had made her a slave to passion, to his burning desires.

&n
bsp; “Remember, baby, I need you to promise me that you will do everything I tell you when we fuck. Everything.”

  The import of his words crashed over her. “Everything?” she whispered.

  He gave her a curt, hard nod. Both of his hands went to her face, drifting lower to curl around her neck and caress her shoulders.

  “What’s it to be?” he grated out when she still didn’t answer. He sounded angry, but when Jaike looked into his eyes, there wasn’t any sign of anger. What looked back at her was mostly desire, one so fierce it took her breath away. But something more important was also there---the strength of a man who could and would take care of her and find pleasure in doing so.

  Derek wasn’t right for her. He’d always be wrong for her, would in fact be the worst choice she could ever make. Jaike knew all those things, but right now none of them mattered.

  She really was her mother’s daughter, after all.

  Jaike raised her eyes to Derek’s stormy ones and whispered the one word that would change her life permanently. “Yes.”

  Derek pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor, leaving her dazed with her first long and leisurely look of his half-naked body. When he started unbuttoning his jeans and pulled the zipper down, a part of her wanted to look away while the other part of her wanted to see more and more.

  Her eagerness to see Derek’s entire body naked dismayed her, but it wasn’t enough to stop her from feeling restless. She had loved Angelo, loved him with all her heart, but she had never wanted him this way – with such all-consuming need she couldn’t think of anything except for the white-hot images Derek’s words created.

  Her hands on his dick.

  Her mouth on his dick.

  She wetted her lips.

  Derek smiled, and there was more than a touch of arrogance in it.

  Jaike felt herself blushing, but the knowledge that he knew what she had been thinking about didn’t stop her from staring. She was helpless against the hunger he had awakened in her, and she was desperate for it to stay. The hunger was the only thing that made her forget.